Saturday, July 24, 2010

Tips on Kissing Well

Kissing well (and doing any intimate thing well) is really only about knowing how to touch another person.  It is important to be attentive to how the other person wants to be touched.  The biggest kissing mistake that most people make is forgetting that kissing starts with the lips.  I don't care if you are a doctor, this is not the time to check the other person's tonsils with your tongue.  Don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for aggressive kissing, but it is probably not your first kiss.

When dealing with a person's personal, physical boundaries, it is always better to knock before trying to barge through a door.  Really, any time you're touching another person in any kind of intimate way, it is a kind of seduction.  You are enticing them with touch, and the promise of more touch.  It had better be appealing.  If the type of touch is too aggressive, clumsy, or just unwanted, the person will naturally retract whatever it is you're touching.  If the touch is too passive, it will likely be ignored or cause disinterest.

Okay, so you knocked and they let you in.  Focus.  Often, people get a little too excited, especially if it's their first time kissing this person.  Stop thinking about what's going to happen next.  Focus on what you're doing, right now.  Assuming you have senses, use them.  Focus on what their lips feel like against your lips.  Explore.  If they seem interested in deeper kissing, do not thrust your tongue into their mouth.  They will likely regret letting you in.  Simply continue your respectful, yet passionate exploration of how it feels to be kissing that person.  Notice how they respond to your touch.  If they shy away from something, calm down.  You want them to want you to touch them.  Feel for them feeling for you.

Here's an exercise:  Fondling another person's hands (consensually, thank you) is remarkably similar to to the use of tongues and lips.  Try caressing your lover's hand, slowly and sensually.  As you move across their skin, they should almost reach for you as you move away.  In a different context, it's really not too different from the way a cat reacts to petting.  This is an unconscious reaction for the most part, and it tells you that they are enjoying what you're doing, and want more.  Remember how that touch feels when you are doing it.  Chances are, that way of touching is exactly what this person likes.  Kiss them the same way.

Once you master the art of touching, you will likely get big compliments on your kissing, and hopefully become a better, more attentive lover for it.  The same principles apply across the board.

Things going well?  Problem getting that bra off?  I'm not joking, look no further...


  1. ComplIment not complEment

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