Living Green

This is not my specialty.  It is, however, the specialty of a very good friend of mine who has finally been convinced to start her own blog.  I was asked by a reader if there are any blogs that I read.  THIS IS IT.

She is well educated, very smart, and passionate about the subject.  Ask her a question about sustainable living or environmental anything, and you can trust that she will legitimately research it and give you an honest answer on her findings in words you can understand.  The post about prescription meds was in response to a question I submitted.  Look for the three-eyed fish.

Too Much Clutter in the Home?

Well, I meant to write extensively on how to fix this problem and then, by chance, I stumbled upon another site that has already done a pretty good job, so...

Guilt Free Fruit, Flax and Oat Cobbler

(Click here for more cooking ideas.)

This is how you get to have pie for breakfast!  It is a variation of the Guilt Free Apple Oat Cobbler and it is wonderful freshly baked, cold, or microwaved.  It is not too light but will also not leave you feeling heavy.  In this case, I made one with frozen mixed berries and strawberries from Costco, and one with peaches, pineapple, strawberries and mango from Publix.  They were both awesome.

Fruit, Flax and Oat Cobbler

45 minutes, serves 6

1 cup of dry oats

1/2 cup of almond meal

1/4 cup of ground flax seed

1 quart of frozen fruit

Coconut oil

Water

Preheat your oven to 450.

Pour out your fruit into a 1 quart Pyrex and microwave it for about five minutes.  This will cut down on your baking time and I suggest covering it.

Meanwhile, grease a 9 inch pie pan with coconut oil.  In a separate bowl, mix your oats, almond meal, and flax evenly and add water until you have a mix that will stick together but isn't too soggy (think sand castle).  It should crumble in your hands but you should be able to press it together.  Press the mix into the pie pan to form a crust at the bottom and around the edges.  There will probably be leftover mix so save it to sprinkle over the top of the fruit.

By now, the fruit should be more or less defrosted.  Pour it into your pie crust along with all the juice that goes with it.  The juice and steam are going to cook the oat based crust.  Spread it evenly and sprinkle any leftover crust crumbles on top of the fruit and place it in the oven for about 30 minutes.  Remove and enjoy.

Awesome Tip of the Day:  Oatmeal has a habit of getting cakey if you cook it and let it set.  You are counting on this to be able to cut your cobbler and scoop it without having a delicious crumbly mess, although it will taste the same.  Let it cool off a bit before you cut it.

If you find that this comes out a little dry, consider adding a couple of tablespoons of juice to the fruit mix or covering it with aluminum foil to keep some of the moisture in.

Go nuts!  (I couldn't resist.)  This kind of pie goes well with sliced almonds or chopped walnuts on top.  Top it with yogurt or cream to make it more of a meal.  This is a real guest pleaser if you have health conscious visitors in the house and is not too much effort to make.

Getting That Hourglass Figure

Ah, the hourglass figure. Many women think that they are doomed by genetics to never look curvy and feminine. Although genetics can help determine the degree of curviness a woman can have, the bombshell classic can nevertheless be yours if you are willing to put in the work.

An hourglass figure basically means that you are small in the waist area and proportionately larger in the hips and bust. You can’t do a whole lot (short of surgery) about your bust size. Fortunately, you have a lot more control over the rest than you might think. The standard ideal waist to hip ratio is usually agreed upon to be around .70, just for reference. You can get this number by dividing your waist measurement by your hip measurement. Start by finding a flexible measuring tape and wrapping it around the smallest part of your waist. For most women this is well above the belly button (around the inferior angle of the rib cage). The measuring tape should be firmly touching your skin all the way around, level with the floor, and not so tight that it creates any bulging. The hip measurement should be taken in the same way at the fullest part.

Now that we know what an hourglass figure is, how do we get one? Okay, the goal here is to make your waist smaller, which will usually involve burning off some fat, and make your hips and butt larger or at least stay the same, which will usually involve building muscle.

Midsection:

So what makes your waist large? There are many factors:

1. The first and most obvious is excess fat. I’m not big on counting calories, but it is a good idea to do it just once, just to know what you’re really taking in. There are plenty of resources online to help you estimate your calorie intake and most big restaurants and a lot of grocery stores have information posted about the nutrition of their meals and products available for those who are curious. Keep a food journal for a few days just to see what your typical meal plan actually looks like. A lot of people simply eat way more than they need to of foods that provide little nutritional value and don’t realize it. Let’s say I have a recommended 2000 calorie diet. If I kept three meals a day at 500 calories a piece, and saved 500 calories for snacks and drinks, that’s it. See how many meals you eat are actually 500 calories and it may make you reconsider your meal plan. What this should tell you is that you’d better make those 500 calorie meals provide you with enough fuel to keep you going so that you don’t get hungry later.

2. I am not a nutritionist. However, I do know that certain foods seem to affect this belly area differently for different people. While you’re keeping a food journal, you may want to pay attention to what you eat for awhile and measure your waist circumference to find out what does it for you. For me, excess wheat and/or heavy fried foods not only make me feel heavy and unmotivated (so less likely to want to work out), but tend to put fat around the midsection for me. If I minimize my intake of these foods, my waist tends to be slimmer. Things high in sugar don’t seem to do this for me so that isn’t as big a deal. Pay attention to your own body and see what works and doesn’t work for you.

3. Skipping meals. This is something a lot of people do when they’re trying to slim down. All I can say is “don’t”. Three things are likely to happen. The first is that you will be tired and unlikely to want to do any physical activity. The second is that you are likely, when drained, to crave comfort foods. The third is that starving yourself can send your body into (surprise!) starvation mode, which will possibly have you storing up your fat reserves.

4. Sleep and stress. I will address these two together simply because they are related. Stress tends to increase belly fat. Google “cortisol” if you want to learn more about this topic. Lack of sleep tends to do make you tired, hungry and unmotivated. It also tends to increase your stress level. Try to get some sleep and a little down time. It’s good for you anyway.

5. Bloating. This usually related to your menstrual cycle. People tend to be more bloated as their period approaches. Don’t get discouraged if you see no results during this time. You will most likely see them as soon as your period is over. Added benefit of being leaner/more fit is that this often correlates with lighter periods and milder symptoms.

6. In relation to the previous topic, many people actually have backed up bowels they don’t know about. If you think this might be you, try doing a partial liquid diet for a few days and see if it doesn’t help you out. During this time, the blender is your best friend. Keep your solid meals light and easy to digest. If you are unsure about your ability to properly nourish yourself, consult with a specialist.

Bottom:

Now that we’ve discussed getting your waist smaller, it’s time to talk about toning up those hips and buttocks. Take a lesson from Brazilian girls. No really, the Brazilian butt for the most part isn’t any more natural than disproportionately large pectorals and biceps on the gym guy with the skinny legs. I’m sure you’ve seen this guy. If you watch Brazilian girls in the gym, they work almost exclusively the butt and hip area. The result of working these muscles not surprisingly makes them bigger. So there we go, big hips and buttocks. This won’t, however, happen from getting on the elliptical trainer for two hours with no resistance. If you want to make muscles grow in size, it will require some kind of weight bearing activity. There are countless online resources and available personal trainers to teach you how to exercise if it is not your forte. Don’t be afraid to seek advice and try it out and see what works for you.

Awesome Tip of the Day: Notice how I didn’t mention doing hours of abdominal work outs? Remember when we talked about how working muscles makes them bigger? Right. A lot of women make the mistake of overdoing the ab work outs and end up with a flat, square shape instead of a lovely feminine curve. Also, too much abs and not enough back makes for strange posture (see other tip below… )

Top:

All of this will help you get what is known as a “pear shape” body. Not everyone is destined for a true hourglass figure as it is limited by breast size. A sad fact of losing weight anyway is watching your breasts get smaller (unless you are already considering a reduction). So how do we make a “pear shape” look like a “peanut shape”? The secret is to work your back and shoulders. By putting some meat on your back and shoulders, it will create what is known as a “V shape” on men. This is because men have a lower waist than women do. For women, it will help balance out the larger bottom side and create the illusion of the hourglass (especially from the back, which is awesome!) and turn your body into the bombshell figure you’ve always wanted.

Second Awesome Tip of the Day: Stand in front of an honest mirror and take a look at your posture. If you see a female Mr. Burns, I’m talking to you. Standing up correctly is not only good for your alignment but it is physically attractive. Even a skinny girl can create a little belly pouch by slouching. Don’t do this to yourself. In addition to contributing to back and shoulder pain, slouching can make you look flimsy and insecure. Standing up straight can make you look firm and confident. That attitude alone is attractive to most people.

All this said, I am a strong believer that insecurity comes from a feeling of helplessness and lack of control in one’s own life. If you are unhappy with your body, or would just like to improve it, know that this is within your power as long as you are willing to put in some work and self-discipline. Start a food and work out log to keep yourself accountable and check in with yourself every week. You can weigh yourself if you want but I suggest taking measurements instead, since the goal is to change shape, not weight. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see results right away. Many people won’t see a noticeable change within the first month of trying to change their body. You might like taking a picture of yourself in the mirror in your best lingerie every two weeks to track your progress and keep yourself motivated. Feel free to ask questions via email and I will be happy to respond.

UPDATE

One of my readers asked a bunch of good questions about this post so I thought I would just address them for all of you.

1. About the abs, I thought there were some ab muscles that supposedly "cinched" the waist in tighter when they were stronger. Is that not true? Also, where does the core sequence fit in with trying to not work abs to get a smaller midsection?

Yes. Transverse abdominals. They don't have to be super strong, just trained to do their job. The core sequence is done with no resistance and works you evenly. You don't need to do it more than a couple of times per week to stay strong. It becomes more of a low level cardio when you get used to it. It won't bulk you up.

2. About the bottom, what if you have small hips but a big butt? From the front you would look less bell curve, but based on the measurement you might have the .70 ratio. Or should I be measuring around the hips, not butt area?

The measurement factors both hips and butt and you should measure right around the fullest part, parallel to the floor.

3. So making the butt muscles bigger seems pretty easy to me. Lots of running and squats and stuff. But how do you make the hips themselves look wider?

You have muscles on the hips too. I get them from holding kicks out, but I saw the girls in brazil with ankle weights lying on their side doing leg extensions. Similar idea.  Basically, bring your knee up to your chest and then extend your leg so that it is alongside your other leg as it would be if you were standing.  This should look like doing knee raises from a standing position on you are lying on your side without letting your leg rest against your other one.  You can also get on your hands and knees and lift your leg out to the side (think dog watering a mailbox).  I saw some people doing this to develop hip strength for kicking during a cardio kickboxing class.

4. Can you identify a few exercises you think are easiest/best for increasing the shoulders? Push ups?

Push ups are going to help tone and strengthen your pectorals and triceps primarily.  It is good to do these and they help firm and tone your chest and arms.  However, I would suggest working your lats and upper back to create a V shape. Try lat pull-downs and rowing.

5. Back to the abs and core sequence again. Do these exercises strengthen the back as well? My back gets tight after doing them. Does that mean I'm doing them incorrectly?

Yes to the first part. The idea is that they work everything around fairly evenly. Most people will feel it in their backs because they're used to working the front disproportionately.  As your back becomes stronger, you will not notice this as much.  Stretch your back out afterward if you feel like it helps.  It is good to stretch anyway.

On Getting Offended

We all get offended now and then.  It's really unpleasant for the person getting offended and frequently uncomfortable for the offender.  The good news is that much of the responsibility of getting offended, and especially how you deal with it, is in your own hands.  If you find yourself being offended, here are some things you can do about it.

I apologize in advance for all of the generalizations.

The knowing offender.  There are two categories of knowing offenders.  The first is one who is an ***hole.  This person wants to offend you and has found a way.  It is quite likely that you are just as offended by the fact that they are trying to offend you as by what they actually said.  I would suggest giving this person a really sarcastic look, shake your head, and laugh.  That makes it pretty clear that all people present know that whatever they said was stupid and inappropriate.  If that is not enough, end the situation by removing yourself from it.

The other type of knowing offender is someone who feels they need to tell you something important even if they know it will offend you.  This is usually something for your own good, so even if it hurts you, it is a good idea to recognize that this person is probably a better friend than you thought.  It's a good idea to admit to yourself that this person is really trying to help you rather than hurt you and accept it as such.  It is the same idea as someone telling your that there is food in your teeth.  You may not like it.  You may be embarrassed.  However, you are now saved from talking to the cute checker at the grocery store with lunch on display.  Thank you, offensive friend.  I appreciate your bold ways.

The unknowing offender.  There are two kinds of unknowing offenders.  The first is one who is offending you and should really know better.  This is the person who is cracking paraplegic jokes in front of the guy in the wheelchair.  Chances are, he's not trying to be rude.  It's just really difficult to see what's going on around you with a severe case of cranial rectosis.  Take a deep breath and calmly mention to the person, "So you see the wheelchair, right?"  If that isn't enough, and given the situation it may not be, just say, "You're cracking paraplegic jokes in front of the guy in the wheelchair and you should probably stop."  This is normally enough.  If not, just don't encourage it and move on with your life.

Awesome Tip of the Day:  When you feel yourself getting worked up, you are already losing your power of reasoning.  This makes it much more difficult for the other person to explain to you that they meant no offense, and much more difficult for you to believe them.  It is important in that case to remember that you cannot fight your emotion any more than you can fight fire with fire.  You must calm yourself down.  Calming your emotion will help you be more receptive to whether a person really is even trying to offend you or what else they could have meant by what they said or did.  Once you begin to understand what is actually happening in the situation, it will be easier to diffuse it.

The other unknowing offender has just said something that relates to another thing they could not possibly know about.  This is the person who says, "Hey, nice haircut!" and doesn't know that you've been upset all morning because the stylist did the opposite of what you wanted and you hate it.  Getting upset with that person will not help.  Thank them for their kind gesture and move on.  They probably genuinely meant it.  People have different tastes and you can't just assume that they feel the same way about it that you do so they should know that it's terrible.  If you must, just sigh it off and let them know that you wish it was a nice haircut, because you just spent all morning being upset because the stylist did the opposite of what you wanted and you hate it.

The misinterpreted offender.  It is extremely important that you understand that this person did not actually offend you.  There are two situations in which this might occur.  The first is that you actually misheard what the person said.  They said one thing, you heard another.  It's as simple as that and you must admit that to yourself and to that person.

Awesome Tip #2:  While you're calming yourself down, try to think very clearly and rationally about one important question... "Why would this person say this to me?"  Can't believe it?  Don't.  Unless this person hates you or is otherwise trying to hurt you, chances are they actually did not say whatever it was or at least did not mean it that way.  Why would your best friend tell you you're too ugly to go out wearing that?  Well, they didn't.  Try to go back and think about the actual words that they said and try to take them at face value, without reading into them.

The second situation is that you heard what the person said, but misread what was meant.  For example, if you co-worker says to you, "You look tired," and you think they mean that you look bad this morning, you're wrong.  Most likely, they're just commenting that you look like you're having a rough day and should take a break.  Or it could be that you show the tell-tale signs of a night out and they are looking for a way in to that conversation to hear all about what happened.  In other cases, the person is probably also tired and wants to commiserate.  None of these are offensive things.  These are friendly things.  If you keep that in mind, you're less likely to be hurt by what they say.


Final thought on the matter... If you find that you are a relatively sensitive person and the person who is offending you is insensitive, take a moment to understand insensitive people.  An insensitive person doesn't not care about how you feel, they just don't understand why you feel that way.  Sometimes they don't understand even THAT you feel that way.  It is unwise to assume that an insensitive people should "just know" anything, ever.  It won't happen.  Sensitive people tend to use words and tones to express feelings and emotions.  They speak a language that is meant to be interpreted and read into.  Deciphering meaning in this language is truly an art.  Insensitive people tend to calculate specific words in a specific order and deliver those words to express a specific thought, idea, or observation.  This language is meant to be taken exactly how it was delivered.  Speaking this language is truly an art.

That said, the person is likely to just repeat for you very clearly the exact words they previously said.  If you tell an insensitive person, "You said this, but you meant that," they will disagree with you.  They will be upset if you don't remember the words that they carefully chose to deliver to you.  Reading into their tone or relating what they said to what that means to you (which they will not have known as mentioned before about assumptions) is effectively the same to an insensitive person as not listening at all.  It is like saying, "I don't care what you're really saying.  I'm inventing my own meaning and getting offended by it and blaming you."  This is highly offensive to an insensitive person!  They honestly probably feel bad about offending you, but you can't see it through their frustration.  If it continues, and they are smart enough to not try to dig themselves out of the hole, they will likely assume that you are unreasonable and abandon the situation.

The best thing to do is to first calm down and second realize that the person did not mean to offend you.  They're probably still unsure even why you're offended because they didn't say anything they could possibly imagine as being a bad thing.  Insensitive people tend to make casual, objective observations and comments that they have no emotional attachment to or feeling about one way or the other.  Their is no "good" or "bad" label on most things, so they will be completely unaware if you have one.  Most insensitive people that I know are just as surprised when they find out that people naturally have this view as an sensitive person is to find out that people live without having that view.  Just imagine the amazement between two people, one who has slept in a hammock all his life and never seen a stationary bed, and one who has always had a bed and never seen a hammock.  Each has it's advantages but they are such different ways to get the same job done.

Best of luck!  Reducing the incidences in which you are offended can greatly reduce the stress in your life and improve your general happiness, especially if you are one to be offended often.  Also, if you are either a sensitive or insensitive person looking across that line, maybe this has provided a little insight on what is happening in a situation in which one person is unknowingly offending the other.  Talking about it with the wrong approach obviously only makes it worse.

Her Room Online Lingerie Store Review

Her Room is an online store for women's lingerie.  Their catch line is "Lingerie We Buy For Ourselves".  They carry lingerie, swimwear, sleepwear, active wear, hosiery, etc.  There is also an attached His Room for that man in your life.

Anyway, the people at Her Room have seemingly thought of it all.

Return Policy.  The first thing I checked was their return policy.  They are good about returns and also do "phone exchanges" in which they send you the new stuff right away and just refund you for the old stuff when they get it back from you.  Also, because their return policy is good, you can order a few sizes if you're unsure and just return the stuff that didn't fit.

Product Reviews and Ratings.  Their products are available for review by customers, so you can see what people are saying about what you're looking to buy and also sort products by star ratings.

Bounce Tests.  This is truly unique and really stands out to me.  The took 40 or so of their most popular sports bras and took a video of a woman wearing it and mimicking a jogging motion.  This is a great way to compare effectiveness in sports bras.

So many sizes!  Her Room carries 28A-56K.  I'm quite sure your size is in there.

See It Under...  There is an option to see the bra on a manikin with various shirt/blouse styles laid over in to see what parts of the bra might show under a V neck, boat neck, button up, etc.

Fit Guide.  There is a fit guide, which are suggestions on sizing based on customer feedback.  For example, if the band runs loose, they might advise you to try a tighter band size and larger cup size to get the proper fit.  This helps you buy and helps them minimize returns and unsatisfied customers.  There is also a customer service representative available for online chat to help you make fitting decisions in a hurry.  Furthermore, there are product specific measurements listed.  For example, if something claims to be "low rise", they will tell you what it really is in inches.

Pictures.  All products come with a variety of pictures from different angles so you know what the back and front will look like on a real person.

Shipping.  Orders $70 and up ship free.

PayPal.  I'm a huge PayPal fan and they accept it.

All in all, I would recommend looking through their online store and see if anything appeals to you for your next lingerie buying experience.

Get the *Point* Out of Freya Active Bras and Product Review

This is going to start off with a product review and then finish with how to soften the pointiness of this particular bra.

Freya Active Bra 4002 Product Review

First, Freya is a wonderful brand that makes lingerie for women, keeping women in mind.  What I mean by that is that they aim to make supportive, attractive lines for women of a broad range of sizes.  It is one of the few brands that actually carries my size, as I am naturally petite and almost all bra bands are too loose to provide me the support I desire.  I wear a 28F/30E in Freya sizes at the moment since I've lost some more weight.

Second, Freya's Active line is well thought-out.  It appears they looked into what a really big and busty woman would need to wear while running and jumping and then made it also in my size.  In fact, they carry these sports bras in 28D-G and 30-38D-H.  4002 is an underwire sports bra that looks like a 1940s full figure bra.  They are made with a dry-wicking fabric that surprisingly does not chafe.  There are three hooks in the back up to E cups and F cups have four.  I can personally attest to the minimal bounce this bra affords me during highly strenuous and high impact exercises.  While it is not "the perfect" bra, I would still give it a 4.5 out of 5 stars simply because it gets the job done.

Pros:

• quick dry material that doesn't chafe
• comes in a wide variety of sizes
• keeps bouncing to an absolute minimum
• comes in a variety of colors (black, white, nude, plus a sister style in red and charcoal)
• underwire design provides separation and stability
• encapsulation protects from upward bounce
• fully adjustable (four hook settings on the band/a lot of room for adjustment on the shoulder straps)
• durable

Cons:

• there is a seam that runs horizontally across the cups that can be seen through clothing
• cups are slightly pointy, very pointy out of the package
• straps would be better if crossed or crossable
• pricey at about $60 a bra

I would not recommend an underwire bra for sparring or grappling or any other sport in which someone might strike or dig into the wire area.  It just hurts.  Freya carries a softcup version but I have not tried it.  I wear Under Armour high impact (cross back) sports bras for martial arts.

So What Does One Do About the Pointiness?

I gave this some thought and then tried a few things.  I suggest washing your bra with warm water to start with.  That seems to help the material soften up faster.  You may machine wash it in a lingerie or bra bag (not with towels or other fabrics that are heavy on the lint) or you may leave it to soak in a bucket of warm water.  Hang it to dry.  When it is *almost* dry, put it on and wear it around the house on a snug setting.  This should help it mold to you a little faster as it dries with your body heat to your personal shape.

After doing this once or twice, the pointiness should reduce to an acceptable level.

Want to Buy One?
If you are interested in buying one of these bras, I would suggest properly sizing yourself and ordering from a place that has a good return/exchange policy.  The bands run pretty true to size.  If you're not sure how to size yourself, click here.

I have made purchases from both Her Room (US) and Menary's (UK) and had good experiences.  If you already know your size you may have luck with Breakout Bras.  They tend to carry very few sizes but have better prices on the ones they have.  Her Room also has an attached His Room for that man in your life.

Click here for a my Her Room review.